Booked it, Packed it, Fucked Off: A 120 Page Travel Journal

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Andrew Flintham, the managing director of Tui UK and Ireland, said: “The announcement from the prime minister was positive and shows that by working with the travel industry on a risk-based framework our customers will have the opportunity to travel abroad this summer. We will continue to work closely with the government so people can look forward to a well-deserved break away, after what has been a very difficult year for many.” Domestic travel has also received a boost. Data from the hotel technology provider Avvio showed a further 38% rise in the value of summer bookings at UK hotels and self-catering accommodation since the announcement, compared with the previous day. It said the high-end UK staycation market was booming, with August revenue for 4- and 5-star hotels up 350% from last year. Holidays that were my normal, that didn’t involve a plane, or an airport. Sometimes a big fancy train but more often than not a big boat. The ferry to France. On choppy seas. Spiriting us away from the rain of England and depositing us in the rain in France. Which was better rain. Less rain-y rain. Holiday rain so it was all OK.

It won’t surprise anyone reading this to learn that I have a well developed persecution complex. Most weeks, despite living a largely untroubled and privileged life, I can find something to moan about. I often trot out the phrases “you couldn’t write it” or “you couldn’t make it up” to bemoan whatever the latest minor upset might be. However, after what has been a troubled couple of years holiday wise, the events of the last week or so really have been comedic. The question is would we drive or would we fly? And if we drove would we get the ferry to France?! Being the son of a pilot the husband is very much a plane geek, something he is passing onto our boys. I thought his choice would always be plane. I mean, a plane gets you there in what seems like a shorter amount of time (when you discount the airport wait!) but as he rightly points out there are all the extra waiting times you need to add in. The wait at the airport. The wait to hire a car. The need to hire (often scummy) car seats. No if we actually bite the bullet and go to France we are going old school. We would be taking the ferry to France, going the way of my childhood, and rather than my rambling on as to why this infographic from Brittany Ferries sums it up rather well.

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Despite being one of the most popular stand-ups in the country Peter doesn’t do comedy panel shows like other comedians. So watch out for repeats of his shows, or catch him on guest interviews. If you want to enjoy even more of his work you will find lots of his DVDs available to buy. If you haven’t already got one booked, now’s the time to start thinking about your summer holiday! It’s only a few short months until the school summer holidays, so if you have a family don’t If you haven’t already got one booked, now’s the time to start thinking about your summer holiday! It’s only a few short months until the school summer holidays, so if you have a family don’t wait any longer to start thinking about booking a break somewhere hot. I have no idea what is going on there, as I am not a DVC expert. I am hoping over time things settle down and something does come up that we can use. I am as we speak in “talks” with the folks I have my credit notes with to try and source something suitable.

The Thomas Cook chief executive, Alan French, said: “The government’s announcement is good news for those of us desperate to get away on holiday. While we await more details, it’s clear that the government’s ambition is to open up international travel in the coming months and hopefully in time for the summer holidays.” He has gone on to be a great success with more stand-ups gigs, TV programs including the brilliant ‘Phoenix Nights’, ‘Max & Paddy’s Road to Nowhere’ and ‘That Peter Kay Thing’. And don’t forget to couple of charity songs he has released including Amarillo. Tui, Ryanair, Thomas Cook and Jet2holidays also reported a sharp rise in demand. Tui, the world’s largest travel company, said breaks in Greece, Spain and Turkey from July onwards were the most booked overnight, with bookings up 500%.Typhoon Lagoon (whoomp! Arrgghh! 🤭) has been open in January, they didn’t (pre covid!) close for refurbishments until nearer the end of the month and it was warm enough for swimming. Johan Lundgren, the easyJet chief executive, said: “We have consistently seen that there is pent-up demand for travel and this surge in bookings shows the signal from the government that it plans to reopen travel has been what UK consumers have been waiting for.” With the changes announced late last week, that test before flying home is now not required and we just need to do the one within two days of arriving home. At least now the risk of being stranded overseas due to a positive test is removed, although of course we would not travel with COVID should we actually have it!

Appreciating the absolute carnage that is probably ongoing now in the rush for UK tourists to book stuff, I feel quite smug that we have pretty much everything in the bag for prices we can tolerate. Ryanair, Europe’s biggest airline, said there had been a “large surge” in bookings from the UK to holiday destinations in Spain, Greece and Italy since the government’s announcement. “This is an encouraging trend and shows the importance of providing customer confidence,” a spokesperson said. Once that had sunk in after a few seconds, my stomach churned and those special words escaped my lips. “You couldn’t (expletive) write it”. This brilliant comedian first rose to mainstream fame in the year 2000 with his Live at the Top of the Tower tour. My mind began to do its work, thinking about when we may be able to get over there. I won’t bore you with all the details, but the logistics of getting six of us (at least) away at the same time, balancing everyone’s work, life plans, other commitments and of course finances is on a par with undertaking a moon landing.Here is a collection of funnies from this top British comedian, Mr Peter Kay. Below that you can also take a peep at a video of him in action. The tour operator Jet2holidays and the Jet2 carrier said summer bookings had leapt 600% since Monday afternoon, compared with this time last week, to mainland Spain and its islands, Portugal, Greece, Cyprus and Turkey. Having moved our Florida trip four or five times (I have honestly lost count) when the last cancellation happened I did jettison my toys from the stroller a little and instead of moving it, I cancelled everything. Breaking the habit of a couple of decades, off I went and booked a holiday to another country, crucially nowhere near the US. What could go wrong? Peter Kay has gone on to be incredibly successful, this is where his stand up days all began and seeing him looking so young really makes me feel old!