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The Funniest Cricket Quotes: Humorous Quotations For All Sports Fans (Funniest Sports Quotes)

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Australian captain Bill Woodfull’s response when England skipper Douglas Jardine appeared at the dressing room door during the infamous Bodyline series. As it happens, Jardine complained that the Australians were swearing at him. Woodfull replied:

I play each ball on its merit and try to give my best to the team. That’s my responsibility and my job.” Angus Fraser's bowling is like shooting down F-16 aeroplanes with sling shots. Even if they hit, no damage would be done. Like an old horse, he should be put out to pasture" - Colin Croft Andre Nel is big and raw-boned and I suspect he has the IQ of an empty swimming pool" - Adam Parore

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Ormond had a glorious response: “Maybe so, but at least I’m the best player in my family”. Ouch! “Which one of you b*******” Robin Smith to Australia’s Merv Hughes after hitting him for four. The ball before, Hughes had said to Smith ‘you can’t bat’. 34. “More misses than King Henry the 8th” 35. “This is how a bowler makes runs” 36. “This is my island, my culture. And in my culture, we bowl”

We slept under the stars in sleeping bags - it was wonderful getting bitten by the mozzies - I'm still covered in bites. We went orienteering in the middle of the night with six-foot kangaroos jumping around. It was just a wonderful time! - Shane Warne on coach John Buchanan's 'Boot Camp' (he's being sarcastic) Pakistan needed 14 off the last two balls to win the game and Rameez Raza hoped against all the odds and said, “Agar ek ya do no ball ho jaaye aur fir six lag jaye toh Pakistan jeet jaayegi (If there are one or two no-balls and then two sixes are hit, Pakistan can win).” A comment made by Viv Richards to Sunil Gavaskar when West Indies played India in a test match. Gavaskar was usually an opener but had dropped down to number 4 on this specific occasion. Irrespective of whether you have talent or not, one has to work hard. Just being talented isn’t anything; you can end up wasting it before you realize it.” VIRAT KOHLI Clearly the West Indies are going to play their normal game, which is what they normally do" - Tony GreigDavid Lloyd: "An oyster bar - apparently it puts lead in your pencil. I don't know about that. I think it only matters if you have got someone to write to"

I told you I wanted to be a fast bowler, but you said I should take up tennis or golf because they were more enjoyable and better paid.’The first time you face up to a googly you're going to be in trouble if you've never faced one before" - Trevor Bailey When things don’t go your way, it bites you from within, and you have to find a way to get out of it.” John Arlott wasn’t quite up to speed with modern terminology as a streaker ran onto the pitch at Lord’s in 1975. Ted Dexter This can only help England's cause" - Ian Botham on hearing that Geoffrey Boycott is to coach the Pakistan batsmen before their 2001 tour of England Former England fast bowler Fred Trueman was looking to emphasise just how big a six this was but, instead, he simply ends up stating the obvious. Jonathan Agnew

That was a tremendous six: the ball was still in the air as it went over the boundary" - Fred Trueman With the possible exception of Rolf Harris, no other Australian has inflicted more pain and grief on Englishmen since Don Bradman" - Mike Walters on Steve Waugh's retirement I don't ask Kathy to face Michael Holding. So I don't see why I should be changing nappies." - Ian Botham on family life We owe some gratitude to Gatting and Lamb, who breathed some life into a corpse which had nearly expired" - Trevor Bailey In my day 58 beers between London and Sydney would have virtually classified you as a teetotaller" - Ian Chappell, after batsman David Boon drank 58 cans of beer on the flight from Australia to EnglandThe joy of doing well as a batsman for your country is much more than that little joy of going for a party and enjoying music. It is a completely different high, and I get high by the performances. That’s what I enjoy now.” Australian swing bowler Bob Massie had a brief playing career. His stint as a commentator was equally brief and maybe this is why. Alan McGilvray To keep Richie company, respected West Indian commentator Tony Cozier confuses listeners with his description of the Queens Park Oval. John Arlott

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